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In This Article:

  • Different interpretations of the FEAR acronym and their deeper meanings
  • Why attitude may matter more than action in facing challenges
  • How fear can sabotage dreams through negative expectations
  • Using the metaphor of cooking to adjust your life's direction
  • Empowering yourself to create a joyful and peaceful life
      

What's Your Recipe for a Happy Life?

by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com

I was curious about the source of False Expectations Appearing Real (FEAR), and also if there were other interpretations of the FEAR acronym. So when I asked ChatGPT, the AI research brought up numerous ones… many I was not familiar with.

Now, those of you who’ve been in the military, or raised in a military family, will probably know this one: Forget Everything and Run. While there is definitely a lot of humor in that, and perhaps some advice, let’s look at it from another perspective.

If your fear is based on something you’ve dreamed up, or more accurately, nightmared-up, then yes, perhaps the best thing is to drop everything, meaning all your thoughts about it, your imagined happenings and results, and leave them behind you. Just drop the fear and walk away from it.

And, don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you don’t deal with practicalities. If there’s a hurricane coming, there are certain things you do to be prepared… but the difference comes in your state of mind. Are you matter-of-factly getting prepared… stocking up on water, food, making sure you have batteries, etc., or are you rushing around in a panic, focused on the worst-case scenario instead of simply making sure you're well prepared?

The actions may be the same (getting prepared) but the state of mind and the attitude are miles apart. And I think we can all agree that moving through your day with peace and trust in your heart is a lot more pleasant than operating from panic and fear.

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FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE

Another FEAR acronym -- Face Everything And Rise -- is attributed to Joe Dispenza. This one is more of an action step than just stating that our expectations are false, as in the first definition of this acronym mentioned above.

This one suggests how to deal with fear: face it and rise above it. Don’t let it bring you down. Don’t let it ruin or rule your life. Look at it, face it, and then find the lesson, the growth potential in it, and the action steps needed.

Perhaps the fear of failure is a good example… Many people fear failure, and some choose to “deal” with that by not trying… After all, if you don’t try, you won’t fail, Well, that’s not quite true, is it? The very act of not trying is a failure in itself.

Yet, if you choose to rise above your fear of failure (or any other fear) you will face it head on, and then find ways to break it down into small doable steps. Things are easier to handle when tackled one step at a time. After all, everything comes into fruition one step, and one day, at a time. Looking at the projected end result can be overwhelming. But taking it one step, one day at a time, makes it easier to handle, and also more realistic. So face your fear, and see how to get through it, one thought, one choice, one action at a time.

MAKING EXCUSES OR FACING REALITY?

There were numerous other acronyms in the list my research revealed. One was: Finding Excuses and Reasons. And that’s an interesting one… suggesting that we use our fear as an excuse not to move forward.

Perhaps the next time a fear comes up for you, see if it is simply a “cop-out” on your part… an excuse or reason not to take that next step, not to rise to the challenge, or not to trust in yourself and in your fellow human beings (thus the Universe itself).

Look at the fear and see if it’s providing a way out for you… a way to give up before you even try… That is an insight that is definitely worth some reflection.

VISUALIZING FAILURE

Another acronym on the list was: Failure Expected and Received. This one circles back to False Expectations Appearing Real, and the fact that where we place our attention is where we will end up. So if our expectation is of failure, if all our visioning is negative (yes, creating a vision is not always of a positive outcome), then we will often receive what we expected.

One of the teachings in "new thought" or metaphysical thinking is that you don’t get what you ask for, you get what you expect. If you expect failure, if you expect to be abandoned, if you expect to be hurt, you will find those results in the numerous offerings that the Universe has for you.

Life is a smorgasbord of events and developments… and we get to choose the ones we want to ingest. Yet our choice is not necessarily what we say we want, but more of what we are expecting. So if you expect failure, if you expect negative results, if you expect rejection, that is what you are inviting into your life.

WHAT’S YOUR RECIPE?

Another one on the list of acronyms, which is similar to the above, is Future Events Already Ruined. Our choice, as always, is what direction we head into, which path will we take? There’s always a choice… Fear or Faith. Doubt or Trust.

It’s a bit like when you’re cooking. If all of a sudden you see that your recipe is heading in the wrong direction… you make a change. If the heat is too high, you turn the heat down, and possibly even move the pot off the burner completely until the temperature has lowered.

Or if it doesn’t taste quite right, you add another ingredient or more of an ingredient you already used. Or in some extreme cases, you might just throw out the whole contents of the pot and start over with new ingredients, and possibly a whole new recipe.

It’s the same in life… If your recipe is in danger of being ruined, take a pause, and see what you need to do to remedy the situation. Standing in front of the stove panicked and in fear will not solve the situation. Only a calm assessment of the situation, and a decision to do things differently, will make a difference.

A RECIPE FOR A HAPPY LIFE

What are the instructions you are accepting or giving yourself as you prepare your recipe for a happy life? You’re in charge of your life… you’re the chef. And just because there’s a whole bunch of ingredients in your fridge and cupboards (or people in your life), it doesn’t mean you have to include them all – or any of them -- in the recipe.

You select the ingredients -- thoughts, beliefs, actions, people -- that will work best for what you have in mind. And that’s where you need to make sure that what you are holding in your mind and in your heart is a recipe that will produce joy, health, happiness, and peace of mind—and not a recipe for fear, misery, and chaos.

About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com

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Article Recap:

Marie T. Russell's reflection on fear and life choices reminds us that we are the chefs of our own happiness. By facing fears head-on, adjusting our expectations, and choosing trust over doubt, we can create a recipe for a joyful, fulfilling life. It’s not about avoiding problems but about calmly and wisely amending the recipe as needed.

#RecipeForHappiness #OvercomingFear #PositiveMindset #ChooseJoy #InnerSelf #MarieTRussell #FearlessLiving #PersonalGrowth