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In This Article:
- Why "Just Say No" isn’t enough for real change
- The importance of creating a vision to replace old habits
- How specific, positive actions can fuel transformation
- Why replacing the negative with a “yes” creates forward momentum
- How to use positivity and self-trust to live more authentically
Just Say Yes! How to Embrace Life
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com
Nancy Reagan is remembered for having started the Just Say No! campaign. The idea was that by just saying no to drugs, the problem would disappear. However, saying no is not enough, or possibly not the right choice at all. While 'Just Say No' was catchy, real change comes when we say a wholehearted Yes — to joy, to health, and to life itself.
What if we just said Yes! Yes to health, yes to life, yes to creativity, yes to happiness, yes to a life that is worth living and worth enjoying? When we focus on the negative, or on what we don’t want, we are still focusing, or feeding, that which we don’t want. It’s just like driving a car… you’re going to end up where you’re looking, which is why one keeps one’s eyes on the road. If you want to go in a different direction, you must turn your eyes, or your focus, in this new direction.
Saying No! Is Easy… But Not Enough
It’s easy to say no to something! Even 2-year-olds have mastered that one! Yet, saying yes to something requires a lot more from us. It requires creativity and imagination. It requires finding a better way than the way we are used to and yet wanting to leave behind. It requires a new attitude. A new vision.
And that’s the hard part. Saying no is easy. But you must then have something to fill the hole left by the thing you have chosen to drop or walk away from. You must have a goal, a vision, a new solution for the situation. And that’s where tuning in to our inner wisdom is essential, as that is where the new vision, the new direction, the new possibilities will come from. Spirit or our guidance can also speak to us through outside sources, but it’s always good to check in with your inner guidance to verify that this “yes” is in harmony with your inner being.
Finding Your "No" to "Yes" Challenge
Just saying no is not a path ahead, it’s just standing in the rut and trying not to fall back into the old behavior, the old beliefs, the old attitudes. Saying yes is when you start to walk towards a new goal, a new dream, a new vision.
So if you’ve decided to say no to something in your life, or something going on in the world, ask yourself what you will say yes to in order to replace the hole left behind. It’s a well-kown fact that people who quit smoking often find that they need to replace the cigarette in their hands (and in their mouth) with something else… otherwise the body will want to go back to what it is familiar with.
Nature Abhors a Vacuum
We learned in science class that nature abhors a vacuum. What does that mean? It means that if you remove something, then something else will rush in to replace it. In the case of habits we are dropping, if we don’t replace them with something positive, life-affirming, and fulfilling, the old habit will come back to reclaim the void left by its absence.
So what will you say yes to? Be specific. Saying yes to health is great, but possibly a bit too general. Be specific: say yes to taking a walk every day, say yes to eating more leafy greens, say yes to jumping on the trampoline every day. Find some things to say yes to and that will keep you moving towards your goal.
And if you’re not happy with what’s going on in your neighborhood and community, rather than just complain (which is saying no), find something to say yes to... Say yes to taking a positive action. Perhaps volunteer at some organizations to help counteract whatever negativity you wish to say no to...
And the same applies to other life situations. Not happy in your job? Say yes to either finding ways to make that job one that fulfills you, or say yes to finding something else that is fulfilling. As a young adult, I didn’t stay long at any job. For a time, three or four months seemed to be my maximum. Why? Because I got bored. The job wasn’t fulfilling. So I would look for something else.
Creating Forward Momentum, One Yes At A Time
I recall one particular job interview when the business owner looked at my resumé and said: “You don’t stay long at a job, do you.” And I answered her truthfully: “I stay as long as the job is challenging and interesting.” And, surprisingly enough, she hired me! And the job was challenging and fulfilling and I stayed 7 months at that job, which was a record for me! And I might have stayed longer except someone I knew offered me a job that was even more challenging, even though it was a 5-month project. And then that job made way for another project which lasted 8 months.
I hadn’t yet found something that I could wholeheartedly say yes to. That took a few more years. Yet once I founded InnerSelf Magazine in 1985, that became permanent. I had found something that was challenging and fulfilling. And here I am, forty years later, still at the same “job”.
So, my point here, is to say “yes” to what your heart yearns for, rather than just say no to what deadens it. You must have something to motivate you to go forward to a better life, a more joyful one. Just saying no, by itself, is not a move out of anything. You must say yes to something else for the change to have forward momentum. Otherwise, we stay in the rut. Just like the 2-year old who shouts “no” but has no vision of what it really wants.
I've Got a New Attitude
The legendary humanitarian Mother Teresa, when asked about participating in an anti-war rally, replied that when they held a pro-peace rally, she would be there. So this is the same message. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want – in her case she wanted to focus on peace, not war.
It’s easy for us to say we don’t like something, to say something isn’t working out. But the challenge lies in finding what will work, what will be a positive change, what will help our life be fulfilling and of consequence.
This idea is beautifully captured in Patti LaBelle’s 1980s hit song, New Attitude:
“I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes
Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
I tidied up my point of view
I got a new attitude
I'm in control, my worries are few
'Cause I've got love like I never knew
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I got a new attitude...”
This song could be your personal anthem as you choose to move forward and make changes in your life. And of course that love and new attitude that we need is not one that comes from the outside. It’s not something that’s given to us by anyone else. It’s the love for self that we discover when we are being true to our own Self, our inner vision, our inner Being.
When I kept quitting jobs many years ago, I was saying no to things that were not “making my heart sing”, until after a series of saying no to one thing and saying yes to another (only to discover that that new job wasn’t “it” either) I found what really resonated with me and made my heart sing.
The Power of a Meaningful Yes
So take a look at your life, see what you want to (or need to) say no to, and then find something to say yes to that will light up your eyes, your heart, and your path. And it may be that will only be a stepping stone to something else, and that is how the journey of life goes… from one experience, one choice, to another.
So go ahead! Find yourself a new attitude, a new vision, a new reality to walk towards. Find something to look forward to, so that you’ll be happy to get up in the morning and face another day!
Today, choose one thing to say no to—and more importantly, one thing to say yes to. Write it down. Speak it out loud. Let that Yes guide you toward something that lights you up.
Music Interlude
About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com
Related Book: The Shaman's Mind
The Shaman’s Mind – Huna Wisdom to Change Your Life
by Jonathan Hammond
To learn to think like a shaman is to attune yourself to a magical spectrum of infinite possibilities, unseen truths, alternative realities, and spiritual support. When a shaman likes what’s happening, they know how to make it better, and when they don’t, they know how to change it. The Shaman’s Mind is a book that teaches the reader how to align and transform their own mind into one that sees the world through the lens of the indigenous healers of old. Based on the Omega workshop by the same name.
For more info, or to order this book, click here. (Also available as a Kindle edition, an Audiobook and an Audio CD.)
Article Recap:
Marie T. Russell challenges the outdated mindset of “Just Say No” by highlighting the transformative power of a purposeful and heartfelt “Yes.” Through relatable storytelling and spiritual insight, the article encourages readers to create meaningful change by replacing old habits and mindsets with uplifting, life-affirming choices.
#JustSayYes #PositiveChange #PersonalGrowth #SelfEmpowerment #InnerWisdom #MarieTRussell #TransformYourLife
